THE REUNION TOUR IS GONNA BE SWEET

In the interim, you can find me here.

IT'S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

JAPAN

WE ALL CRAPPED OUR PANTS!

Pooing in the pants while at the desk makes us much more productive!

THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING

BROKENCYDE/WPC (FLIPPER ON DAISEY OF LOVE) 40 Oz Vid

This is the "musical" equivalent of the Pet Rock. 100% bullshit, yet people are dumb enough to want it.

It's such a steaming pile of talentless, steakheaded, misogynistic shit, I'm actually depressed. And not in the way that I'd be about other shitty bands (making money, gaining notoriety for everything but the actual "music" itself) but in the way that I'd be depressed about something like cancer or hate crime (things exist, thriving, and are irrefutably tragic.) I get the whole "if you don't like it, don't listen to it" thing, and I don't listen to it (unless the car-crash watching idiot in me clicks on a link I know I shouldn't) but it just blows my mind that a) people made this and thought it was a good idea, b) people actually support it rather than laughing it off, and c) these fucking zeroes are paying their rent by doing this.

Please make it stop. If telling 12-year-olds in neon t-shirts and asexual haircuts and pants to "get yo' sex on" is cool, I am not fucking cool. Not at all, thank you.

OVERHEARD IN ORANGE COUNTY: PART 2

On Saturday, I did some Mother's Day shopping, got side-tracked (in my typical "one for you, one for me" shopping style--bad for the wallet, FYI), and stopped by a certain clothing store that rhymes with Turban Couch Shitters on the way to pick up something for Mom. The employ here are not sports fans. Like, at all. That doesn't mean they wont' fake it for the sake of conversation.

The following conversation happened at the register between me (in a Dodger hat) and an employee:

Clerk: What do you think about the whole Manny thing?

Me: I'm not surprised at all, and if there was a player dumb enough to get caught, it's Manny.

Clerk: It's like...yeah...I mean...I'm all, dude...it sucks.

Me: Yeah. They'll be OK while he's out. The NL West is pretty awful.

Clerk: It's like with Manny, I'm all...at least it's not like freakin' Mark McGrath when he broke Mantle's record and was on steroids.

Me: ...

TO-DO LIST

1) Land on a human as many times as possible in an hour.

2) Lunch with friends at that new pile of shit in the yard.

3) Check out that new dead guy's nose.

4) Fuck something (maybe the back of that fat dude's neck.)